Help Wanted: Mom-For-Rent

I am now on day two of being home sick and I have decided to put the following sign in my window:
NOW HIRING ONE (1) MOM-FOR-RENT
Duties include, but are not limited to:
Fluffing pillows, keeping the remote within my distance, making hot chocolate and soup, doing the laundry, the dishes, tidying up anything that needs to be tidied, and just making me feel better by not letting me do anything.

It's hard being sick when you are the mom; I want a Mom-For-Rent. Today as I was lying on what felt like my death bed with a fever, chills, headache, sore throat, and all over aches and pains, my son's school called and said he had the same thing and could I please drag my sick self down to the school to come pick him up. I offered her $50 to keep him, but she politely declined. I should have upped my offer. Note to self, next time offer more money.

So, looking worse than a mud fence after a rain and feeling worse than I looked, I crawled to my car and picked up my son. Luckily for me, all he wanted to do was sleep, which made it quite convenient for me to be sick and not have to move. As I was lying on the couch being miserable, I realized that the remote control was about six inches out of my reach. That was terrible. I couldn't move and didn't have the energy to reach six more inches. I had my cell phone but was pretty sure no one I called would drive to my house to move my remote the six inches that was needed to reach my hand. It was at that very second that the phrase "Mom-For-Rent" flashed in my mind. I bet someone could make a killing doing that. All she would have to do is take care of a mom when a mom is sick. Sometimes I am such a genius that I even amaze myself.

My son woke up a few hours later and wanted some toast. I looked at him and thought, "There is no way I am getting off this couch to make you some toast," and I thought that all the way to the kitchen, while standing the toaster waiting for his toast, and again as I was cutting his toast into little bite sized pieces like he likes. I was also thinking this as I made him a cup of hot chocolate to go with his toast that was buttered and cut into bite size pieces. Even moving to the kitchen hurt and I wanted someone else, anyone else, to make his toast and hot chocolate for him, and maybe make me some too.

I am cutting this short as I really do feel awful and just got up to get some aspirin for my aches and pains. It would have been so nice to have someone get that aspirin for me. Maybe a Boyfriend-For-Rent would be nice too, but then again, I would never get the remote from him and the constant flipping of the channels would drive me crazy. Plus, I would probably have to clean up after him, so that might defeat the purpose. Hummm. So, I am sticking with the Mom-For-Rent and if anyone decides to follow up with this idea, give me a call.
(c)2007 Cindy Breninger All Rights Reserved.

Oh, for the Love of Children

Oh, the things we will do, er, eat for the love of our children. Tonight, my seven year old daughter was in the kitchen and she said she was making a surprise for me. When she brought me a plate, it had a taco that I knew she worked very hard on and made sure it was "perfect". She eagerly watched as I picked up the taco and took a bite as she waited for my response. When I said, "Yummy! This is the best taco ever!" she was so proud and pleased with herself that it made me happy. She had the biggest grin on her face and waited to make sure I ate every last bite.

The taco that I lovingly ate contained: one taco shell; one refried bean; a piece of shredded cheese; and the rest of the shell filled with sour cream. Ever taken a big old spoonful of sour cream and eaten it? No? Me neither. But, it was so cute how she wanted to do something for me and she tried to make something she thought would make me happy, how could I turn that down? Obviously, I couldn't, and if she makes another one tomorrow, I will eat it just to see her cute little face with that great, big smile!

You just haven't lived until you have eaten an entire taco filled with sour cream. I will never forget how happy she was to make me happy and there is not a better feeling in the world. Oh, what we do for the love of our children!
(c)2007 Cindy Breninger. All Rights Reserved.

War Against the Gnats

For some reason, this time every year, let's just call it the pumpkin rotting season, we seem to be infested with gnats. The gnats appear out of nowhere and invade our pumpkins. Once they leave the pumpkins, for some unknown reason, they make their way to our bathroom. We have never had a pumpkin, or food, or anything of interest to them in there, and I have never been able to figure out why they migrate to the bathroom, but they do. Every year the kids and I vow to fight off the gnats and kill them, and this year is no different. This is war, people!

One trick my son uses is, he waits until they are on the wall and then rolls over them with a lint roller, he has also left glue on a piece of paper hoping they would land there, and placed a cup of hot chocolate on the counter, again, hoping they would want a drink and then get stuck; we have tried everything, or so I thought.

My son stayed home sick today and was in the bathroom for a very long while. I knocked and asked if he was OK and he said yes. When he finally came out, he was smiling, and went back to sit on the couch. He had a big old grin and I asked if everything was OK. He said yes. He looked at me and said, "Mom, we are smarter this year and we are going to win the war against the gnats!" And that was all he would say. This made me a bit concerned.

I went into the bathroom and taped to the mirror, was an empty Junior Mints box that had a piece of chocolate taped to the inside, tape was all over the inside and outside of the box, with the sticky side out. What the? Why is there a sticky, chocolaty Junior Mints box taped to the bathroom mirror? SON!

I asked my son why that was on the mirror and he said, "Mom, when the gnats walk around on the mirror, they will see the chocolate and want to go inside. Once they are inside, they will get stuck and then no more gnats!" He said it with a bit of an evil laugh. I imagined an evil scientist rubbing his hands together after thinking of a brilliant idea, or world domination. He might be taking this a little too seriously. Humm. Worry about that later, must get gnats first.

I hope his little trap works as I hate the gnats. They freak me out as I don't want to walk with my mouth open for fear they will fly in my mouth, I don't want to breathe and again, have one in my mouth, or have one get stuck to my teeth or something. Ewwww. I hope the pumpkin rotting season ends quickly and takes its gnats with it. Yuck!

First update: My son just reported that he caught one gnat in the trap! Man your stations everyone, this year we will be victorious! The bathroom will be ours again!

Second update: My have now enlisted the kid next door. They are armed with two dustbusters, a lint roller and a roll of tape. Don't mess with us, boy, we are taking over!
(c)2007 Cindy Breninger. All Rights Reserved.