Friday, November 16, 2007

Help Wanted: Mom-For-Rent

I am now on day two of being home sick and I have decided to put the following sign in my window:
Duties include, but are not limited to:
Fluffing pillows, keeping the remote within my distance, making hot chocolate and soup, doing the laundry, the dishes, tidying up anything that needs to be tidied, and just making me feel better by not letting me do anything.

It's hard being sick when you are the mom; I want a Mom-For-Rent. Today as I was lying on what felt like my death bed with a fever, chills, headache, sore throat, and all over aches and pains, my son's school called and said he had the same thing and could I please drag my sick self down to the school to come pick him up. I offered her $50 to keep him, but she politely declined. I should have upped my offer. Note to self, next time offer more money.

So, looking worse than a mud fence after a rain and feeling worse than I looked, I crawled to my car and picked up my son. Luckily for me, all he wanted to do was sleep, which made it quite convenient for me to be sick and not have to move. As I was lying on the couch being miserable, I realized that the remote control was about six inches out of my reach. That was terrible. I couldn't move and didn't have the energy to reach six more inches. I had my cell phone but was pretty sure no one I called would drive to my house to move my remote the six inches that was needed to reach my hand. It was at that very second that the phrase "Mom-For-Rent" flashed in my mind. I bet someone could make a killing doing that. All she would have to do is take care of a mom when a mom is sick. Sometimes I am such a genius that I even amaze myself.

My son woke up a few hours later and wanted some toast. I looked at him and thought, "There is no way I am getting off this couch to make you some toast," and I thought that all the way to the kitchen, while standing the toaster waiting for his toast, and again as I was cutting his toast into little bite sized pieces like he likes. I was also thinking this as I made him a cup of hot chocolate to go with his toast that was buttered and cut into bite size pieces. Even moving to the kitchen hurt and I wanted someone else, anyone else, to make his toast and hot chocolate for him, and maybe make me some too.

I am cutting this short as I really do feel awful and just got up to get some aspirin for my aches and pains. It would have been so nice to have someone get that aspirin for me. Maybe a Boyfriend-For-Rent would be nice too, but then again, I would never get the remote from him and the constant flipping of the channels would drive me crazy. Plus, I would probably have to clean up after him, so that might defeat the purpose. Hummm. So, I am sticking with the Mom-For-Rent and if anyone decides to follow up with this idea, give me a call.
(c)2007 Cindy Breninger All Rights Reserved.